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THE CURSE OF FANE IN EIGHT DOWNTOWN FLAVORS: Behold, the works of FANE -- eight prime downtown storefronts and buildings empty for months and in the case of the Masonic Temple (top row, farthest right), years. 

TOP ROW: Three S. Cayuga St. storefronts and the marvelous Masonic Temple building, empty.

BOTTOM ROW: Three vacant storefronts on The Commons and an empty building on Bank Alley. All have succumbed to The Curse of Fane. 

TINY TOWN, USA –– The Curse of Fane remains the same. And the recession's got nothing to do with it.

Jason Fane's stranglehold on prime downtown real estate is deadly as ever. Which only goes to show you that any yutz from downstate with a few bucks in his pocket can build an empire in Tiny Town. The Tiny Town tycoon's work started with one lowly rental way back in the day. From that, the man, a visionary to be sure, quickly realized he could jack up prices to whatever the market would bear. With lots of wealthy college students, that worked dandy in the C-town rental unit department.

The man then built his own Tiny Town of overpriced retail units, gradually buying out the feeble and not-so-visionary downtown landlords while driving others to spike their rents as well. A limp-wristed city government sat back and let the runaway capitalist drive a good chunk of downtown into ruin without making any effort to impose restrictions on his properties. For instance, eminent domain could be claimed for buildings unoccupied after two years, fines could be imposed. Nada. His crapass high rises in Collegetown lend the eastern horizon all the charm of a Yonkers skyline. 

It wouldn't be so bad we think if only the man would relent now and then. Rather, he sends forth his henchman, Yengo the Bamboozler, to craft shifty deals with prospective renters. Most who have fallen for the alleged perks are out of business now and long gone. The smart ones grabbed their goods before Fane's minions could change the locks. 

What would it take to get rid of this man? Should we be rid of this man? Or, does he just happen to be the onw who saw his opportunity and took it. And do you not think it true, dear Tiny Towners, that were it not Fane it would be someone else?

I have seen the man and it does appears his wealth has added girth to his ample corpus but little visible mirth. And yet some who have gotten close to man without breaking into hives claim he has a good sense of humor.

We at TTT.com believe the man is cursed with greed and therefore pity him. We have heard however, that he does give to his synagogue, so there is a tiny dent in his armor.

–– C. Penbroke Handy

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 July 2009 11:25  

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