Tendering to Tiny Sunday, Nov. 3, 2013

Sunday, 03 November 2013 11:30 administrator


Top of the Bottom of Tiny Town News This Week

• Snow!

A  downtown resident left 15 perfectly fine cherry tomatoes on the vine to rot, in front of passersby. Neighbors, who resisted pilfering the fruit for weeks, are considering "the perfect" revenge.

• Ol' Possum set the clocks back screwing up life for millions once again.

A Tiny Town  man left home Tuesday morning feeling perfectly fine and returned to his lodgings that evening with a sore throat,  migrating pains and the jingle from an old Wool-lite detergent commercial stuck in his head.

A man dressed in a Sen. John Boehner costume was thrown off the porch of an Angry Hippie Halloween craft beer party.

A gentle, quiet, obedient homeless mongrel conceded to wanting to murder a yappy dog in the cell next door at the Tompkins County SPCA no-kill shelter. The mogrel was denied a chewy treat and forced to walk in a cold rain wearing a pink vest.

God loves a hobby. Hobby Lobby, an arts-and-crafts chain owned by an anti-Semitic conservative billionaire, generated headlines when it filed an anti-contraception lawsuit, arguing that since the company’s leaders opposed birth control, it should be able to restrict contraception access among Hobby Lobby employees. Hobby Lobby will be open for business in a section of Ithaca's former Kmart department store. The racist CEO also  said the store will sell items for the Jewish holidays even though the Jews killed Jesus.

• A woman reported driving across town at the legal speed limit one day this week and "hitting every green light."

• A small gray mouse successfully re-inhabited its 20-generation family digs inside a Newfield refrigerator unit Saturday night.

Compiled by Anon.

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Last Updated on Sunday, 03 November 2013 14:01